Stop Talking So Much

In partnership with

Murder Was the Case

Picture a conference room. A teammate starts to talk, barely getting out five words of her thought before the “boss” jumps in, cutting her off mid-sentence. It's not just rude—it's the murder of morale, ideas, growth, development, and innovation in real-time.

These 187s aren’t rare. Similar crime scenes play out in conference rooms and meetings in companies and organizations daily, stunting growth, curb-stomping creativity, driving ideas underground, and training your best people to be silent. Sadly, most of these idea-killing bosses don’t have the self-awareness to understand their murderous ways. They’re too busy being the loudest voice and most brilliant person in the room.

Eye-witness to the Crime

Watch and listen carefully in your next meeting. You'll see it. There are physical signs, or “tells,” of bosses who can’t stop talking.

They have a barely perceptible, slightly-forward lean of anticipation. You may see their lips twitch or even mouth the words they’re hearing. There’s tension like right before lightning strikes—a predator waiting impatiently for the first opportunity to pounce.

Then, BLAM! They jump right on a sentence, cutting off the speaker. And then they espouse their take, idea, or whatever was so important that they couldn’t wait. They may even have the nerve to apologize for interrupting and then asking you to continue.

Manipulation, much? Interrupting, saying all you have to say without someone interrupting you, then apologizing and asking them to continue, is a straight-up power move dressed up in politeness. “My words matter most, but continue if you must.” It disrupts our thought process and undermines our confidence in speaking up.

These bosses aren't listening to understand; they're listening to respond.

Every interruption is a lost opportunity, a baby breakthrough strangled in its crib. It's not just poor communication—it's idea suppression disguised as “leadership.”

Effective listening looks very different. Mouth closed, mind open with genuine curiosity, questions ready. Most importantly, effective listening requires the patience to let thoughts unfold completely, even through awkward pauses and half-formed concepts.

The Hidden Cost of Interruptions

When bosses consistently interrupt, innovation doesn't actually stop—it goes underground. Some talented and caring employees will resort to guerrilla tactics like self-funding projects and testing ideas in secret—not the best way to support their contributions or develop the best solutions together. Most will throttle back their effort once they learn there’s nothing to gain by sharing their ideas.

Why Rehabilitation is Rare

Unfortunately, most bosses aren’t going to change their growth-killing behaviors through feedback or training. Meaningful change typically comes only through personal pain—losing a star employee, damaging an important client relationship, or watching a promotion slip away. Sad, but it’s the reality.

These dream-slayers weren’t made this way. Their behavior was learned from their bosses and the bosses above them, often coming directly from executive teams, where interruption and dominance are required survival skills. To get their ideas through, bosses learn to steamroll conversations. That same “effective” style then trickles down through their teams.

Reforming requires more than awareness; it demands a fundamental shift in how bosses define strength, effectiveness, and performance. It’s not about having all the answers yourself—it’s about creating an environment where the best solutions can come from anyone, anytime, anywhere.

A big difference between being a boss and being a leader, wouldn’t you say?

Creating Growth Conditions

Leaders who effectively listen provide nutrients and fertile soil for growth, development, and innovation. Bosses who can’t stop talking steal nutrients and lord over droughts and barren ground.

The shift from overbearing boss to leader starts with simple changes:

• Zip it. Keep quiet during pauses, allowing thoughts to fully form, even encouraging them along.

• Stay curious. Ask "Tell me more" instead of jumping in with statements or opinions.

• Create “growth spaces” (not safe spaces) where baby ideas can develop into breakthroughs.

• Actively seek feedback on your listening skills (and be prepared for uncomfortable truths).

• Make it a team sport—encourage others to call out interruptions “in the moment.”

Keeping yourself quiet isn’t just a "nice to have" skill. It’s the difference between a team that goes through the motions and does only whatever you say and one that consistently pushes boundaries and drives growth—theirs and yours.

Two Ears, One Mouth

Moms are pretty smart. When they say, “God gave us two ears and one mouth because we’re supposed to listen twice as much as we speak,” it’s facts.

Your team's next game-changing idea is probably sitting in someone's head right now. Will you create the conditions for it to emerge simply by not being the loudest voice in the room?

The next time you feel that urge to interrupt, pause. Take a breath. Remember—your silence might just be the most powerful thing you can contribute to your team's success.

The best LEADERS aren't the loudest voices in the room. They're the ones who know how and when to zip it, step back and let their people shine.

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Go get ‘em! 🚀

—Brenden

PS—bragging rights if you know who sang “Murder Was the Case” without looking!

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